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Its true... I didn't say it!

(If this thread get mysteriuosly disappeared, you'll know why)

Comments (Page 10)
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on Dec 13, 2009

~

Is it possible that reality is a fantasy and

fantasy is reality?

~

on Dec 15, 2009

Is it possible that reality is a fantasy and

fantasy is reality?

Dunno, but I'd be a very happy man if some of my fantasies became reality.

Being pain free and cruising the Caribbean on a luxury yacth with all my fave people 'd be nice

on Apr 21, 2010

~

I have detected the work of the alien.

~

on Dec 14, 2010

Message from the alien:
On our portable planet radio talk show hosts
took themselves to seriously and weren't funny any more
in fact they were down right depressing.
Then we stopped listening and cheered up.

on Jan 26, 2011

Word has it Joe Satriani is putting down his guitar for a while to 'go surfing with the alien'

And Steve Vai has been accused of fathering an 'alien love child'

on Jan 27, 2011

The alien says that listening to music in a dark
environment makes it sound louder.

on Jan 27, 2011

Ah, so that's why all the windows are blacked out at his place

Could do to turn down the bass a little

It's shaking some of the roof tiles loose.

 

on Jan 27, 2011

There's your UFO explanation. Flying roof tiles from the alien's abode. Told them to stash their anti-grav units someplace else but do they listen ... nooooo.

on Jan 27, 2011

The Alien denies any knowledge of anti-grav devices.  He says that while the US Gov't may possess something along those lines, perhaps, he is adamant that neither he or other non-terrestrials are responsible for any such technology getting into the hands of humans... and certainly not into the hands of politicians he believes would not behave responsibly with it.

Apparently he saw people on a similar planet use anti-gravity to steal dozen upon dozens of oil tankers during a world-wide oil crisis.

Therefore, anti-gravity does NOT exist.

on Jan 27, 2011

Yeah yeah and the moon isn't made of green cheese. Its Limburger or some such.

on Jan 27, 2011

Would lactose intolerant people avoid going to the moon if it were made of green cheese... or would they just take an anti-histamine first?

Come to think of it, which I do, are aliens lactose intolerant?

The reason I ask is because our satellites haven't seen any evidence of alien bases on the moon... and surely that'd be the logical place to have a forward attack platform if they plan to invade Earth?

Another thing I sometimes think about, if I were to get abducted, is whether they have qualified proctologists to do the anal probes, or whether it's some sadistic alien who has B&D tendencies???

on Jan 28, 2011

Are the aliens anal?

Do they practice safe insertion?

Do they wear protective gear?

Do they give you lollipops when they're done?

on Jan 28, 2011

Are the aliens anal?

I've often asked this, and I've never gotten a clear cut answer, other than the hint that some of them may have a curiosity with that portion of the anatomy because theirs is located underneath their armpit.  It was also suggested that some of them were latent homosexuals, but evidence was never forthcoming to support this theory/claim.

Do they practice safe insertion?

Of Course, who do you think introduced rubber gloves and lubricants to proctology?

Do they wear protective gear?

Again, where do you think condoms come from?

Do they give you lollipops when they're done?

Um, how do I explain this without frightening or disappointing a heap of people?

Let's just say that it doesn't come on a stick and you don't lick it.

on Jan 29, 2011

Let's just say that it doesn't come on a stick and you don't lick it.

Eewwwww!!!     TMI!      Visions of starkers with lollipops ^^^^^ Nightmare central.

on Jan 29, 2011

Visions of starkers with lollipops ^^^^^ Nightmare central.

That's something you'll never have to worry about... because the alien says lollipops are for woosies.

Me, I'm the 'bite it off the stick and chomp right into it' kind of bloke... licking and sucking is waaay too dainty for me.

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