Just Wondering... Bible Talk

Published on March 10, 2005 By joeKnowledge In Religion

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual un-cleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is: my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

I notice all of these are in the old testiment... does that matter?

Comments

bakerstreet

on Mar 10, 2005

"Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?"

Because self-humilation and abetting evil is un-Christian. People might see you consorting with Canadians, and they are evil, anyway, so feeding them and allowing them to procreate would also be un-Christian...

"I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?"

It depends on how good of a table tennis player she is. It is my understanding that ping-pong skills are the main attraction for people browsing white slavery. Oh, and big feet, I'm talking clown shoe big.

"I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual un-cleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence."

Ask them if they want you to go to the drug store to buy them pads, if they haven't already asked you to. Even if they don't go on and on about their current state of PMS, all women will think you are sweet for that...

"When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is: my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?"

No, you should await the appointed time, usually Labor Day weekend, when everyone else is offering up cattle, pigs, and weiners on their back yard alters...

"I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?"

Tough one. How big is your neighbor?

"A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?"

What isn't well known is "shellfish" and other animal terms were just slang for body parts in Moses' time. In the end, all the "eating stuff" commandments were about homosexuality.

Unless you are a lesbian, you don't have to worry about the shellfish or taco clauses. Now, eels and such are out of the question.

(On a side note, you know this is gonna be just as offensive to Jewish people as Christians, right?)

MythicalMino

on Mar 10, 2005

you know baker....that is very interesting.....The Old Testament for (most) Christians (in what they believe) is just that....the Old stuff....no longer all that relevant to today's church. But, now...the Jews on the other hand, that is their book.....

But when anything is brought up about it, it is a slam against Christians.....hmmmm....interesting, never thought of it like that before....

joeKnowledge

on Mar 10, 2005

This is what I am saying... and yes Jewish people use the old testiment from what I know... Anyway, I think it is justified for those who do not belive in the Bible to see the Bible as 'out of date' or 'untrue'.

Then you have people of religion who then quote from the Bible to tell you the good news.

I personally think that Gods word is in everything and you can use anyting to show it, including the Bible but not exclusivly from it.

I am suprized none of the more Bible ready has not responded to this thread. While I belive in God and the Bible, I do not see it as a book of rules but more of a story of life to be read and adore and taken deeply to heart.

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